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6 Subtle Ways A Woman Can Chat With Her Crush

Online Dating Chat
Image Copyright © Jacob Silva

Statistic Brain, an online database for life’s multiple facets, was able to assemble figures related to online dating, here are some of their most revealing data

Of the total number of online dating users 47.6% are women
The estimated duration of courtship for couples who started online is 18.5 months on average, which is 23.5 months shorter than folks who met face to face.
First dates that originated online, people put more premium on personality 30%, with smile & looks only placing second at 23%.
Contrary to popular belief, still more than a third of girls (38%) prefer nice/polite guys as opposed to bad/damaging ones at only 15%.

With society’s stereotypes that men should be initiators and main handlers of a relationship, most women prefer to wait-and-see for a guys first move. However, waiting for that cute or charming guy that’s long been in your friend list to message you can take an eternity. He may be too busy or have a mind-boggling number of friends, to notice you in the first place.

So, does that mean you should drop the hint? Yes, but don’t overdo it. Here are clever and non-desperate ways you can start the conversation:

#1 The Classic ‘Misclick’
This is an old-school excuse that works up to now. You simply have to pretend that your little sibling, nephew, or cousin accidentally hit that emoji or sticker to your male crush.

“Sorry! It was my 5-year-old cousin.”

“Apologies, my visiting nephew did that.”

Now, if the guy welcomingly accepts your apology with a friendly remark like, “Haha! It’s fine” then you can slowly take the conversation to a much personal level.

#2 The Planned Game Notification
After you played inviting games in Messenger like Everwing, Pac-Man, Hex, and Galaga, it will send a notification on the chat window of the person you decided to play it on. With your male crush as your target, you have to pretend again that you didn’t know about how the games work.

“Didn’t know that this disturbs someone. Sorry!”

If that message shifts the topic from high-scores to love scores, then you’ll know the risk you took in messaging him paid off.

#3 The “I Think I Saw You Somewhere” Statement
Girls, admit it, the majority of you have at least one guy friend on social media that you have never met once. Once you’ve seen him randomly on a bus ride or a mall visit, you see it as a topic to open in chat. Even if you don’t, the power of pretending again comes to play. Just don’t appear like you shadow his entire profile.

“Hey! You’re that guy in red in the mall entrance yesterday, right? I was about to greet you but I was afraid you won’t recognize me.”

A man is a curious being. The more you tickle his mind, the more he’ll think of you the majority of the time.

#4 The Interest Sparkler
Social media enables everyone to have a wide reach of information, particularly on good vacation and staycation places, OOTD ideas and mouthwatering dishes. You may have seen your crush post something about one of those, and whether you’re genuinely interested or not, you can use it to your advantage. Of the choices in this list, I believe this is the least informal and most effective way to engage with your crush, since it’s you showing interest on something he posted, not necessarily in him.

“Hi! I apologize if I’m bugging you, but I just want to know if the picture you posted yesterday was taken in the Maldives. My family and I had a hard time making reservations there, and I was wondering how you did it. Thanks”

#5 The Damsel in Distress
The effectiveness of this technique has been impaired a little due to the large number of men and women using it, but it’s still a decent fallback option. Simply message your guy crush arbitrary letters like “asdasfasdasfas” and tell him, after he replied, that someone messed with your phone while you were away.

“Geez! My apologies, but someone other than me played with my phone.”

#6 The New Lady in The City
For instance, if you’re travelling for a business or personal meeting, why not ask your crush to guide you along the way (through chat), like what routes and train stations to take, especially if the place is near his area. This works two ways for you: you get to arrive in your destination, while ascertaining if your crush has a genuine heart for troubled people.

“Hello! This may appear very random, but I’m heading to a place in Salk Late City this weekend. Since you’re from Utah, I hope you can help me out on the best route to take. Thanks!”

Almost all gentlemen love to lend a helping hand, and if you’re lucky, your crush may even dig deeper by telling you some street-smarts or hidden knowledge about the place.

As a concluding thought, there’s a very good chance that your crush will like you so instead of waiting for him to unravel your great personality, why not take a chance on initiating that first casual message now?

Article by Jacob Silva

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Before You Date, Create Your Vision

Before stepping out into the world of dating you’ll need to create your vision. You may have just left a disastrous partnership. Or, you may be in the process of getting clear on what you want in light of your past dating experiences.

Whatever your starting point, it’s a good idea is to formulate a “best-case scenario” vision that works for you. It works, because you already know it works.

Here’s a simple guide to finding your ideal vision in a new mate. It defines what you want and what you don’t want. Then, transforms your “I-don’t-want-this” into its positive opposite. This vision technique pulls from the past and reformulates the undesired aspects into a positive vision for your future.

I advise my clients to begin this vision by getting out a paper and pen. Old school? Yes. Effective? Absolutely! Start with a clean notebook or Word doc if you prefer:

Write down the things that you’ve experienced in former dating scenarios that worked well for you. Coming in on a positive note enables you to feel empowered by your past. You’ve already had good experiences. Acknowledging those things that were especially wonderful in the past allows you to bring them into your future.
Record the positive, good, and wonderful things you experienced in past dating/relationships that are keys to what you want to experience again.

Here’s a sample list of what your past partners may have brought into your life:

Partner A. Great sense of humor. He/she diffused difficult situations with his/her wit and perspective. He/she knew how to “handle me” when I was in turmoil. We laughed, played and had fun. Every day (and every challenge) was enjoyable with this type of even disposition.
Partner B. Spiritually focused and stimulating intellectually. Our mutual spiritual/philosophical interests created cohesion and partnership growth.
Partner C. Aligned creativity and dynamic artistic discussions. We ignited each other’s interest and understanding of our professions. We helped each other expand individually and as a team.
Partner D. Down to earth and real. This partner erved as a stabilizing force in my life. His/her clear thinking allowed me to relax with him/her and be myself.

Next, add another section entitled “Things I Desire.”
These are the newfound qualities you must have and how they’d look in real life.

This is where you transform your “what-I don’t-want” list into your “what-I-now-have” list:

I now have “x.”

“X” is the quality you want to experience. It could be: honesty, fidelity, generosity, lifestyle, adventure, sensitivity, time for me, or time for our relationship. Whatever it was that you didn’t get in your past dating experience, here’s the place to add it into your new vision. In writing these new qualities make sure to add a sentence or two that shows how that would look in the real world.

For example, if you used the quality of ‘honesty’ as your “x” it might be framed like this:

I’m not afraid to speak up and relay my feelings. Neither is my partner. There’s honesty at the heart of this relationship. We have an easy, open and natural communication. We both feel free to discuss whatever’s at hand and resolution of any problem is effortless.

When you combine what you’ve had with what you want… you get a winning formula! That’s the vision for your next romantic encounter. This simple exercise clarifies your thoughts and automatically activates your subconscious.

When we know what we want, there’s a natural “calling in” of those qualities. We begin sending out an energetic frequency that’s focused on the qualities we desire. From that place of awareness it’s easy to observe their presence or absence in the new people we date.

It’s important to keep this exercise focused on the positive. We often enter a new romance with emotional wounds from our past, only to see the same unwanted things replayed in our current mates. By shifting our vision to what we “want to see,” we create the possibility of realizing it. By recalling our successes, we anchor tangible proof that we’ll attain these qualities again in our future.

Happy creating!

Article by Susan Winter

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