Tag Archives: Breaking Up

When Your Boyfriend & Your Best Friend Get Too Close!

When Your Boyfriend & Your Best Friend Get Too Close!

Splitting Couples

When we become close to someone our natural instinct is to share them with the other people we are close to. Eventually you want to introduce your new boyfriend to your best friend so you can proudly show them how great the other is.  You might even end up spending a lot of time together as a group.

Sometimes this can lead to a separate connection between your significant other and your friend, that is all okay to a point. However, there is a definite line that exists which defines how close the two most important people in your life can get to each other, and that is based on the fact that you are sexually intimate with your boyfriend, so there is a clear element of exclusivity that should never be violated by either party.

As long as the connection remains about sharing the strong feelings they have for you it is on the up and up. If though, there is ever a point when you might feel threatened or begin to doubt their intentions, then you can start to think about putting boundaries in place. How can you tell if that time has come??

The first red flag is if you start to feel left out. If your boyfriend and best friend develop inside jokes that you are not a part of, or they find reasons to spend time together away from you, even if you are sick or out of town, it is only natural to wonder if something is brewing between them. Another indication of a problem could be if your friend is admiring you so much that she starts to dress and act like you. If it begins to appear that she almost wants to be you, which can sometimes be flattering, but usually means she is jealous of what you have and might want it for herself, be on guard.

The best way to gauge when and if that line is being crossed is to trust your feelings and go with your instincts. If it is all positive, and your interactions are supportive and caring, then that is exactly what love and friendship is about. But if you start to feel uneasy, uncomfortable or a sense of competition surfaces from your friend, that is a good time to start setting limits on how much time you spend together as a group, and begin to monitor what you share with your friend so you can build your own sense of identity separate from her. By doing this, you can protect yourself and not have to worry about being betrayed by someone close to you…

 

Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer

Dr Jane Greer
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Mending A Relationship Split

Mending A Relationship Split

Marriage Split

Sometimes it can be very helpful when two people take some time apart to evaluate how they feel about each other, and to sort out what is really important to both of them. In the face of baby number three on board, it looks like Megan and Brian have decided to join forces to work on their marriage and see if it can, in fact, work on take two. Similarly, Patrick Dempsey and his wife recently put the brakes on a divorce. You don’t have to be married to give love a second chance. Courtney Cox and her boyfriend are back together after calling off their engagement late last year.

There are many things that can drive a couple toward a breakup. Underscoring most separations are feelings of disappointment, anger, and the idea that there was something you couldn’t get beyond, some impassable issue, an irreconcilable difference for which there is no clear middle ground or answer. The anger itself can make it impossible to get along, either leading to too much fighting or a cold war distance between you, both of which can bring your sex life to a complete stop. For some people, the decision to end the relationship seems like the only path out of the hopelessness and unhappiness one or each partner is experiencing. Breaking up can appear to be a way out of the stress and on the road to a better place.

That said, love is a funny thing. Just because you aren’t getting along doesn’t necessarily mean you have stopped loving or feeling attracted to your partner. In addition to that, some space might infuse those feelings with new life while giving you a fresh perspective on what you can and can’t tolerate in your life. In other words, even though an end to your connection might seem freeing at first, it might ultimately prove to be complicated, difficult, and lonely.

Suddenly those weekend trips to see his mother don’t seem like that much of a sacrifice, or the fact that she chooses to go to the gym most nights instead of eating dinner with you might not leave you feeling so abandoned as long as she comes home after. Time apart allows you to evaluate what is important, and can give you the chance to decide if what once felt untenable and unacceptable might suddenly become manageable in the face of what you really have to lose. Taking a break can give you a chance to get a new outlook, while letting the anger subside. You can cool down and bring some objectivity back into your relationship.

If your relationship feels like it is at a standstill and is steeped in feelings of resentment and disappointment, instead of making the decision to end it for good, consider ending it for now. Give yourselves some time apart so you can see that you actually might want to stay together..

Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer

Dr Jane Greer
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Dr Jane Greer on The Ignition That Turns a Relationship On

Dr Jane Greer on The Ignition That Turns a Relationship On

Chris Soules

Bachelor Chris Soules and fiancee Whitney Bischoff announced they have mutually and amicably decided to call off their engagement. Chris shared that the split has been “really tough,” but they continue to be supportive friends. Despite the fact that the way in which couples meet on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette is so exciting, it seems many relationships don’t work out in the long term.

Even so, the show carries intrigue for the viewers in the same way it does for the participants. It gives everyone the chance to think about the possibilities of meeting someone new and starting over, finding Mr, or Mrs. Right, and having the sense that anything can happen, the world is your oyster, it can seem like a dream come true.

Being a contestant on one of these shows is available to only a few people, but many of us have had the experience of meeting someone new in a more exciting than real life situation such as on vacation or at a big event like a wedding. When that happens there can be an immediate connection, and the sense that you have known that person all your life. Those feelings can be fueled by chemistry and the attraction you have for one another, as well as the fanfare of the situation in which you met. In the same way that people meet on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, it can be a key in the ignition that turns the relationship on, but then how do you keep it in motion? And why do so many of these relationships, whether they begin on the television show or in an out of the ordinary setting, end sooner rather than later?

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Relationship Advice with Dr Jane Greer – Can You Stay Friends With an Ex

Relationship Advice with Dr Jane Greer – Can You Stay Friends With an Ex

Relationship Break Up

 

There are several things to consider when trying to decide if it is a good idea to be your former partner’s pal.  The first is to think about how your relationship ended and if there are any lingering issues. If there is still a lot of anger and resentment between you, and you continue to be at odds sorting out the logistics of your new lives and what that means, then you might not be ready to be friends yet. In other words, if you are still trying to iron out the difficult details of dealing with kids, sorting through your things, sharing friends, and deciding how to deal with family events, the likelihood that these complications will raise your already brewing frustration level is pretty high.

If the “we” world that was dismantled is still requiring a lot of directions and maps to navigate through, and the journey hasn’t been smooth or easy, it is probably too soon. With that in mind, trying to stay close at this time might only serve to fuel the negative energy and keep the anger going.

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