5 Steps to Get Over a Break Up
You’ve just broken up with your boyfriend. You knew it was coming; your relationship’s been in turmoil for a while now. Or it might have been unexpected. You didn’t see it coming. But nevertheless it’s a reality you have to come to terms with. So, what are the best 5 steps to get over a break up?
- Get Over a Break Up – Start Giving More
Once you’re over getting drunk and crying on friends’ shoulders, you’re faced with a sudden void that you don’t know how to fill. More booze and more crying can only go so far. It won’t be long before friends start suggesting that you take matters into your own hands and maybe cut down on the 2am sob calls.
Stalking your ex is not an option, whether online or offline. Even if there is hope for reconciliation, having some “me time” can earn you more brownie points than desperate texts about how it’s all your fault or his fault for that matter.
Be more charitable instead. There is need for help everywhere you look. Rather than feeling sorry for yourself, try feeling compassion for others. Whether is buying more than one “Big Issue” from a homeless guy or volunteering, whether it’s helping out a colleague you don’t actually like or making a donation so that Wikipedia stays ad free, the choice is yours.
The point is to stay connected to the world around you rather than bury yourself in your grief. Throwing yourself into work doesn’t count. It can be counterproductive on the long run. You’ll set expectations that will be hard to maintain once you’re over the heartbreak and want your life back.
- Get Over a Break Up – Work On a New Look
A break up can leave us feeling unworthy, unattractive and insignificant. Rejection is a hard pill to swallow. The “get him out of your hair” method is well and truly popular. However is pointless as a step one. Work on your soul first, looks come second.
Once you’re ready to smile, even if just occasionally, hit the shops and the hairdressers. Ask your friends to join to make it more fun.
- Get Over a Break Up – Indulge Yourself
Some of us are tempted to get a new look and go straight out there on a prowl. Whilst getting male attention is not altogether a bad thing since it can help boost your confidence, it is better not to pursue men for a while. Why? Deep down you are angry with our ex, with yourself, with how things went down. The smallest misunderstanding with a new man can make you find fault with all men under the sun.
You should have a cake day instead or a DVD box set day or a quite a few. You should indulge in anything that takes your fancy, romantic movies, Ben and Jerry ice cream, replanting the entire garden or going to the spa. The main thing is to give more to you.
- Get Over a Break Up – Rediscover Old Passions
These could be anything from travelling to pottery class, to one night stands with ex lovers. You should be, by now, half way through your heartbreak and just as convalescent patients move from the drip to solid food, it’s time for you to get more adventurous. It will help you get a stronger sense of self.
The main thing is to stick with the familiar. By doing something you used to do and enjoyed doing, you gain strength from your old self. What better way to heal?
- Get Over a Break Up – Start Dating
You’ve re-established the roots of your personality, you’ve found yourself, now it’s time to have a peak out there. It may take a while to be able to throw your heart into the game, but who says you can’t throw in your other senses. Try going for lust, rather than love at first. Keep things cool as well as hot and steamy. Once you’ve mastered this phase you’ll know when your heart is ready to fall in love again.
Want more dating advice or need help with writing your online dating profile? Get in touch with Laura.
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Article by Laura Gub
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